No Longer a Child, Not Quite a Man

by Jonah Spear

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06:01
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04:20
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released 24 July 2014

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Track Name: Kimya Dawson and Paul Baribeau
More and more these days I feel nothing inside me,
But maybe that's because I've been losing my shit.
I wanna take up smoking just to prove myself a lesson,
That you're not the only thing that I can't quit.

Kimya Dawson and Paul Baribeau,
The time you meant so much to me feels like long ago.
I wish that I could love you like I did,
When I was a kid,
Twelve months ago.

I can't quite make out your face in my memory,
Ever since I lost my glasses, two months ago.
And ever since I lost my old journals,
I can't remember how it feels to be sixteen years old.

Kimya Dawson and Paul Baribeau,
The time you meant so much to me feels like long ago.
I wish that I could love you like I did,
When I was a kid,
Twelve months ago.

Tonight I'm looking through old notebooks,
Even though they're in my head.
Tonight I'm looking through old notebooks, that aren't mine,
Because, the boy who wrote them is dead.
The boy who wrote them is dead.

Kimya Dawson and Paul Baribeau,
The time you meant so much to me feels like long ago.
I wish that I could love you like I did,
When I was a kid,
Twelve months ago.
Track Name: No Longer a Child, Not Quite a Man
I don't feel like a child but I don't feel like a man
You see things recently haven't been going to the plan
And I thought I could fill the hole in my heart with something else
I thought I could fill the hole in my heart with someone else

Am I in love with you?
I'm scared an alone and I sometimes think I do
The way you make me feel
It's hard to tell the difference between what's fake and what is real
What's fake and what is real

And how am I supposed to believe in love?
If my parents didn't love eachother?
How am I supposed to believe in love?
If things between my mother and my father,
It didn't work out for them

I struggle every day
To keep these thoughts at bay
This year just won't give back
What it took away

(whistling)
'Thought I could fill that hole in my heart with something else

Am I in love with you?
I'm scared an alone and I sometimes think I do
The way you make me feel
It's hard to tell the difference between what's fake and what is real
What's fake and what is real

And how am I supposed to believe in love?
How am I supposed to believe in love?
I just don't see how I am supposed to, believe in love
I just don't see how I am supposed to, believe in love

I struggle every day
To keep these thoughts at bay
This year just won't give back
What it took away